Being content

Recently in our Sunday School class we did a study called "Too Busy Not to Pray," by Bill Hybels. In his book he talks about the importance of close prayer time and outlines a lot of clear cut examples of how to deepen your relationship with God. I don't know about you, but I'm not the best at remembering to really pray.  Oh, I can shoot the occasional "God, please be with so and so," or "Lord help me with..." But really praying? Not my forte. 

Reading through this book came at a time where we were tackling a major life decision as a family. Whether I would continue to work. I only work one day a week as a nurse practitioner, but for the last several months I felt like it had been a major tax on our family and that it was time to move on. My husband felt that in the future when kids are older I would want this job, so it was important to keep my toe in the door. 

So we decided to not talk and just pray about it for 3 days. Like really pray. Multiple times a day. And spend time listening. That's the hardest part for me. Before really practicing, I would start off trying to listen to God's word and end up making a mental to do list of the day's activities.  Through the practice and discipline of prayer I finally felt like I heard God's voice. Be content. I am sufficient. My husband heard God speaking to just support me 100% in whatever I heard.  

So I left my job. I had a great job, but I am confident that right now, I need to put my all in my family.  And periodically I have those doubts creep into my head.  Is it enough? Am I enough? Should I be doing more? I have dreams about the future, should I start to work toward them now?  For the first time in my life I have no 5 year plan, no idea what the future holds.  But again and again I hear God's voice. Be content. I am sufficient. I only hope I can continue to listen. 

Honoring all moms

I wanted to take a moment this weekend to wish you all a happy Mother's Day.  

To the mama celebrating her first baby, happy Mother's Day. 

To the newly pregnant mom, anticipating a new season in life, happy Mother's Day.

To the busy moms of little ones that are constantly in need leaving you weary at times, happy Mother's Day.

To the busy moms of older kids who are beginning to resist their parents guidance, happy Mother's Day.

To those who want to be moms desperately but life hasn't worked out the way they planned, happy Mother's Day.

To those who have lost their little ones too soon and are aching through their whole body this weekend, happy Mother's Day.

To the foster mamas that give all their love to a child that they know may not be theirs forever just so that child can know what love is, happy Mother's Day.

To the first mamas, the birth mothers who for whatever reason made the choice to place their children for adoption. Happy Mother's Day. This weekend we will light a candle and pray for our son's first mother and his foster mother. Women who are a vital part of our son's story, who will shape who he is.  His life is not ideal but we hope to honor all the women that loved him and pray for them always.

Praying for all you mamas out there this weekend!

Freely, Freely

Sunday, a day of rest. Coming to church this morning thinking of all the unrest and brokenness in this world. Baltimore. Nepal. Division and need everywhere we turn. And instead of rest for a weary soul, our pastor Shyloe this morning reminded us of these words at the end of Jesus's life.  

‘Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28: 19-20, NASB

Um, that's not the rest I was hoping for. In fact that's the opposite. I am reminded that by giving my heart and soul to Jesus that means that I have to then follow through. Now that looks very different for each person but it implies a serious action and decision in our part to go. To teach. To do. Following Jesus means taking an action on our part. Loving as He loves. Every person. Showing up, even when we don't want to. Can you imagine for a minute what it would be like if we Christians actually followed the great commission? All of us. To every person. 

We sang one of my favorite hymns today that just resonates so well with Jesus's message:

'Freely, freely you have received;, freely, freely give. 
Go in my name, and because you believe others will know that I live.' (by Carol Owens)

We received God's amazing gift of Jesus without price. Free. And I hope I can live with that desire to freely give. To go. And the good news, at the end of His commission Jesus reminded us "I am with you always."