Living in the center of obedience

Hey friends, hope you're having a great week! So glad to have a return to sunny weather.  

Our family is packing- for my hubby to go to Haiti and to get ready to put our house in the market. Seeing big changes ahead.

Ever since Hope Spoken, I have been restless, feeling God's call but still trying to decipher what that is. So friends, I would love your prayer. Someone told me this week that when thinking about 

the future, about dreams, that there's no better place to be than the center of God's obedience. I would ask your prayer for guidance to be in that spot. 

Where Do You Abide?

Happy Friday everyone, hope you all are gearing up for a great weekend!

So most of you know that it's been a pretty busy year for us. New kiddo, sick family member, our son had surgery. Oh and we just bought a house that is a total fixer and my husband is going to Haiti next week.  So it's become very easy to get wrapped up in all the stuff of life. 

This image has been on the screen of my phone the last couple weeks (from She Reads Truth).  It comes from John 15:9- "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have loved you; abide in My love."  I looked up the definition of abide.  To accept or act in accordance with (a rule, decision, or recommendation).  

His love is there. We just have to choose to live in it. What do you abide in daily?

Somedays it looks like I choose to abide in stress. Abide in fear. In selfishness. I love this daily reminder to live in His love. His grace. I don't deserve it by any means. But His love is there. It's the rule. I just have to choose to live my life in it.

Dating my Husband

My wonderful husband and I went on our first date 14 years ago. 14 years! And while that by no means makes me an expert there are so many things I have learned and am continuing to learn about walking through life together with the person I love.

Dating. We went on our first date in a few months last night. It was at 4 pm and it was just over an hour but I had the best time. We are in a particularly busy phase of life between having 3 young children, planning a mission trip and preparing for an upcoming move and renovation (in town). Much of our time "together" is spent taking care of kids and after bedtime it's a mad rush to get all the tasks completed before we fall into bed exhausted at the end of the night. Yesterday I got to sit still with my husband. Sit across the table, and just be together. Is it as often or as long as I like? No, but sometimes it's just enough.

Prayer. It is so easy to feel sorry for myself sometimes. Feeling the burden of caring for a family definitely has its ups and downs.  I love caring for my children but there are times it can be isolating and therefore I focus on my own issues and dismiss my partner's. It is when I make a concerted effort to pray for my husband daily, to lift his needs up that I find my burden lifted as well. We pledged to work together but sometimes if I focus on my own work instead of focusing outward I bring both of us down. Taking time to pray together daily is something that is so easily forgotten but blesses our marriage so much. It's that daily reminder that our relationship belongs to Him. And his burden is light. 

I am still learning daily what it means to be a child of God. A wife. A mother. A friend. But I hope by being more intentional in my love instead of just getting through the day I can deepen all of these relationships. Will I be successful every day? No, of course not. But I pray that God can show me new ways to love daily.  

It is Finished

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, 

And our sorrows He carried; 

Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted.  

But He was pierced through for our transgressions, 

He was crushed for our iniquities; 

The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, 

And by His scourging we are healed

Isaiah 53:4-5

Hope in being vulnerable

Being vulnerable.  Just putting that word down makes my stomach drop a little.  It is incredibly hard to let your guard down sometimes.  Social media is the perfect example of that.  I like to post the pretty pictures of my children doing cute things.  I choose not to post a picture of me hurrying through the grocery store while one child is having a meltdown and the other is eating through the wrapper on the brick of cheese I just put in the cart.  

Lately, being vulnerable with God has been the biggest struggle.  It's hard, isn't it?  I don't want to admit that I truly need God.  People tell me I'm calm and have it all together, so I believe them.  Having 3 small children and other life happenings have made it so I shut God out recently to not let myself feel "less than."  I read my bible every day.  I pray.  But really open myself?  Confess that I am not control?  I was afraid once I opened the gates I couldn't stop.

And I was right.  This past weekend I went to an amazing conference called Hope Spoken.  It was an incredible weekend of hearing story after story of God's love.  God's forgiveness.  God's mercy.  In different women through all walks of life.  And through sharing these stories, including my own, my wall started to crumble.  And while those barriers are still there, I'm working to let God in.  Let people in.  Let God use those people that love me actually love me.  And in turn I hope to better love others.  Because that's what God calls us to, right?  To truly love our neighbors.  No matter what that looks like.  

So I am broken.  I do not know all the answers.  I do not have it all together.  But I am loved.